Best friends.

If you're reading this, I really miss u guys. I just miss the crazy moments we had together back then. I just miss it when we can tell anything to each other,do silly things together,making crazy videos and watching late night movies. I especially miss the sleepovers we had during high school. Everything is different now, we rarely see each other,let alone being together. The sparks are slowly going away but trust me, I don't want that to happen. Hopefully, the sparks come back before  it is too late. I really miss you all,gegirls. 

HELLO everyone.

hmm,I guess I'm gonna be quite active again in my blog but not that much since I have to give my 100% focus for my final semester. It's gonna end in april. How time flies kan?lol. I can't wait to get out from pasum. hahaha. It sounds so mean but that's reality. hahaha :p

 So yeah, I went to kpt carnival held at um. I went to a few booths,mainly about medicine. It was okay, nothing exciting about it. However, I was like ouch when someone from Penang Medical College asked about my MUET result. LOL. Without any compassion, she simply asked back, 'nape semua org punya result muet teruk eh?' I was not in shock when she said that because from the way she looked at me, it was not a good sign. Whatever, I couldn't care less about that woman. Obviously, medicine has a very high requirements,regardless private or public institutions. -___-' Everything involves money. I was like 'damn it,why so expensive'. Sigh. Money doesn't bring you happiness but it gives you stress and depression,that's for sure. :/ haha. I'm not sure of my plan anymore. Things got even more confusing. Ya Allah, banyaknya dugaan. Please give me the strength to endure this. Hopefully, this semester will cheer me up. My dad was like 'stop being so passive' I wasn't trying to be like that. I'm being realistic here. 

Airina, welcome to reality.

hey hey hey. 

I feel like writing something. Within a week, I will face my exam. This is fucking scary k. I used to be quite calm but being in pasum, it makes me crazy, seriously.  Whatever. Forget about pasum. I'm tired talking about it and it's always depressing when I talk about pasum.

Just so you know, I had an incredible 3 weeks with him. hehe. He completely cheered me up, made me laugh and everything that is related to happiness. 

I'm really glad we managed to spend time together. However, I'm scared,really scared. He's gonna be away for months. It scares me a lot.

Hello. I'm so emo now. I'm not feeling motivated and I feel so depressed right now. I feel like screaming and throwing things but of course, that's impossible to do. I don't know but I'm lost now. I'm so confused with myself. I'm so lonely in um. I'm not happy but I don't have the perfect words to describe my feelings. It's complicated.

The worse part, I don't even know how to express my feelings to my parents. I don't think they will understand and having thoughts about it will just bring tears and even more tears. I can't cry in front of them, it will just give more stress but all I wanna do is cry and cry and cry as hard as I want without saying a single word. I don't really know myself right now. I feel like a stranger to myself. 

I've just started my second semester. The fear is too much. I'm scared if I can't handle any failure but of course, there will be failures along the way but come on, I just can't deal with them anymore. Failures, it's too painful for me. It can straightaway shut me down. I totally screwed my first semester but I gave my best shot during the final examination. Of course, I think I didn't do well but I'm still hoping for a miracle. The results will come out in two weeks time and it's bothering me every second of the day. I'm at my vulnerable state. 

I can't keep thinking like this but it's not easy to let go. I don't know. I don't know. I JUST DON'T KNOW.   I can't imagine telling my parents about my results. I'm so scared to receive it.

Ya Allah,please help me. Guide me to the right path. I feel so lost right now. Please help me. Please.

hello.

Let's just say that I feel like writing now. I'm having my semester break and I'm so stressful.

Things keep repeating no matter how much I try to avoid it. I really wish I could change myself,seriously. People are so good in making new friends, just like when we were kids. I never have that. I seem to be cold to people but I guess I'm not good in interacting with new people. It reminds me of Seseri. When I first entered Seseri, I had a fucking difficult time to fit in and accept new people in my life. It took almost a year for me to finally feel like I'm there. Lol. I know, I'm so bad in this. What to do -____-"  Things like this affect me physically and emotionally I guess. Haih. I try so hard to be strong but I ended up in tears. :'( I don't like this. I dont want this to affect my studies. My mid-semester exam is on this coming Monday and I gotta be honest. I did study but I don't think it's enough. I never think it's enough. Lol. I feel the same way during SPM and my result was not that good. :/ I don't want this to happen again. I want to be cheerful. Sometimes I feel so fake :( ahhhhhh, I need to get my head straight.Please pray for my exam. I need your prayers, I'm really scared.

After a week staying in UM, I gotta say that I'm actually enjoying myself. I guess it's because class has not started yet.hehehe :p Honestly,it's much better than Seseri, in terms of freedom. LOL. 

So yeah,Congrats to my friends who got MARA!:) All the best,I'm so happy for them. I applied but I didn't get it. I guess it's not my call. Everything happens for a reason.I believe in that. I'm just gonna be an optimistic person. I'm gonna work my ass off to score 4 flat for my asasi,insyaAllah :) Class is gonna start tomorrow. I'm so excited but I'm feeling seriously nervous and I'm scared that I'm gonna be sleepy. That's my biggest weakness.HAHA.

Seremban was a BLAST!GAHHH, HAD SO MUCH FUN WEYH!BEST SIOTTTTTT!HAHA. :p 

Seriously,the journey was a bit funny. I guess my friends and I (ESPECIALLY Maryam and I) don't have the luck when it comes to riding KTM. HAHAHAHA. 

Let's see. I haven't been updating my blog since forever.hehe.I'm truly sorry for that because my life had been SUPER BUSY and I just happened to be not in the mood for blogging. Sigh. Lol. Whatever. This is just a place for me to write out my thoughts,confessions, and such.  

I didn't get Petronas scholarship :'( Well, I'm still in the waiting list but my chances are really THIN. I lost hope but at the same time, I'm hoping for a miracle. Whatever it is, Allah knows the best for me. I got great news after spending one whole night crying hysterically. -.- Lol. I got the offer to study at Universiti Malaya :) Alhamdullilah! I didn't want to enter IPTA unless I got UM and Allah granted my wish. I'm so thankful for that! Everything happens for a reason. I guess engineering is not meant to be. The good thing about getting PASUM, I can still choose which course I will take after completing PASUM. Of course, my result for PASUM will be considered so yeah, I'm putting a promise to myself that I will try my VERY BEST to achieve the highest. Well,at least till I reach the requirements. I'm still waiting for MARA's result after the interview. The interview was okay but I can't put my hopes too high.I'm just gonna wait and whatever the result is,I will just have to accept the news with resilience. Of course,I want the MARA SO BADLY THAT I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IN WORD HOW MUCH I DESPERATELY WANT IT. I don't have the power to make a decision. So yeah, just go with the flow and pray for the best :)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh,nape ramai dh dapat tempat nak study ni?:'( why things are so easy for them?I wanna study.Ya Allah,please lead me to the right path.

gosh,I really miss being in seseri :'(

Salam :)

I cried really bad last night.It was about something.Scholarship.Sigh.I didn't know that getting a sholarship would be really difficult.It's really stressing me out.I desperately need a scholarship.I don't want my parents to sell something in order for me to pursue my studies. I don't want that to happen,never.Please,don't let that happen.pleaseeeee :'(

HEYYYYYYYYYY,WADDHUPPPPPPP :D

LOL

I know. I can't even remember when was the last update. I've been SUPER busy weyh. I'm just hoping for the best and never giving up. NEVER. I won't update much because I'm sick and super tired. Good night :)

Hello everyone!Alhamdullilah,I got my result already.I wanted more but what I got was good enough and I'm happy with it :)

I'm searching scholarships like crazy now.Susah gila weyhhhhhh,buat sakit hati je ni :/  I'm totally confused now. Medic is not easy. :(

Nak tgk 

-The woman in black

-The lorax

-Seefood

Anyone interested to accompany me for a movie marathon?:p

WEYH,ADA MASALAH KE AKU PAKAI TUDUNG?MCM TAIK.

This is Malaysia la.

-.-

Salam.Good morning everyone :)

It's  Monday now.Approximately a week before the results being exposed to the public -.- There will be media at my school.Woah,it's a big thing.Yeah,of course it's a big thing.I'm scared but I can't do anything for now besides hoping for the best and I gotta keep praying.My parents said ,'it's okay,whatever the result is,it's still your result.You can't change anything.Just keep moving forward and plan ahead.' Yeah,I know that very well but I can't imagine the consequences if I don't get what I want.I'm sorry.I do sound selfish but I can't stop thinking about it.I'm really scared.I really wanna get what I've been dreaming about but Allah knows the best for me.I truly believe in that.InsyaAllah,please,everything will run smoothly.I keep seeing my friends and seniors flying overseas to further their studies and of course,I wanna be like them one day.This is my chance to see the world,to experience new things,to have fun with my friends.I want my parents to be proud of me,I really do.They put high hopes on me and it's a lot of pressure there but whatever it is,I know they will still love me no matter what.They have been there for me the whole time.They managed to compromise with my crazy attitude and they really trust me for not making stupid decisions.I'll never break the trust.This may sound silly but Father will not be with me during the announcement of the results.He has work somewhere and I truly understand that.It's just gonna be Mother and Stepfather,I guess.I'm not sure if my stepfather will follow but I think he will since my father is not gonna come.Whatever it is,I gotta face the reality.Stop living in fantasies.InsyaAllah,Clarion will be the best.Please pray for us.I want my batch to be the best despite having a lot of issues.We were teenagers and we were not perfect.We made mistakes and we learned from them.It's a part of growing up.

Anyway,I just finished watching a movie called The Pregnancy Pact.I found it in youtube and I was actually interested in watching it.Lol.It's a good movie,seriously.I don't really like the ending but the ending is the reality so yeah,I gotta accept that.Lol.

This is such a beautiful song.

The lyric has a deep meaning :) Give it a try,you won't regret listening to it,trust me ;)

I'm back from Cameron Highlands.I had a lot of fun with my aunt and cousins :D I couldn't stop laughing.LOL.Our next trip will be Pulau Redang or Pulau Perhentian.I can't waitttttttt :D 

I'm trying to make my list come true this week;

-Going to Genting Highlands

-Disco skate

-A day out with my Seseri friends

Not forgetting to bring my siblings to kidzania or whatever the spelling is.LOL.

Goodbye,I think I wanna do something else.I don't really have the mood to write anything anymore.hahaha.Blame my crazy mood.It's seriously unpredictable. -.-

HURRY UP!I WANNA WATCH THIS SO BADLY!CEPAT LA KELUAR!