The worse part, I don't even know how to express my feelings to my parents. I don't think they will understand and having thoughts about it will just bring tears and even more tears. I can't cry in front of them, it will just give more stress but all I wanna do is cry and cry and cry as hard as I want without saying a single word. I don't really know myself right now. I feel like a stranger to myself.
I've just started my second semester. The fear is too much. I'm scared if I can't handle any failure but of course, there will be failures along the way but come on, I just can't deal with them anymore. Failures, it's too painful for me. It can straightaway shut me down. I totally screwed my first semester but I gave my best shot during the final examination. Of course, I think I didn't do well but I'm still hoping for a miracle. The results will come out in two weeks time and it's bothering me every second of the day. I'm at my vulnerable state.
I can't keep thinking like this but it's not easy to let go. I don't know. I don't know. I JUST DON'T KNOW. I can't imagine telling my parents about my results. I'm so scared to receive it.
Ya Allah,please help me. Guide me to the right path. I feel so lost right now. Please help me. Please.
