First day of school,without him.God,it hurt really bad. :'( The moment I entered the class,I looked at his place which is now seated by a Chinese girl. I cried straightaway. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. It's really painful. I feel so empty. I know I sound so dramatic but it's the truth,I'm not lying at all. My friends tried calming me down. They cried too. I was really quiet,doing my own work,couldn't be bothered what the others were doing. I was just focusing on my work. But then,something VERY INTERESTING HAPPENED. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm sorry,I can't help it. I feel like laughing whenever I think about it. I was writing rubbish on the whiteboard with Qila and Zahi. We didn't realized that Pn. N was watching us from behind. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sumpah lawak. When I turned around,she was babbling about something. I was about to sit down at my place but she called me,Qila and Zahi. She was nagging about my attitude just now. She said it was childish doing that. Plus,I'm a prefect and blablabla. Too lazy to write everything. I'm sorry if I sound rude but this is MY BLOG. I can write whatever I want in here so back off people,just read my blog or leave immediately. Thank you. After that,I did my homework and I thought about him. Shit,I cried again. For now,my nose hurts like freaking hell due to my excessive crying.LOL.

I MISS YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the evening,went to Qila's house to do some homeworks. I also checked out the pictures that we took last Saturday. Aww. :') The best day EVER!:D I saw a picture of Syed and I.I stared at it for a long time and my eyes started to get watery. :/ I really love that picture. It's perfect. I'll definitely print it but only God knows when. I'll be going to Qila's house everyday this week since this will be my last week here. I'll be going soon to my new school.

:')

Went out with too many people just now.haha.came back around 10. :D I wore a dress,for the first time.hehe. Everyone was like,'OMG AIRIN!You pkai DRESS!OMG!' HAHAHA. Shocking,right?Reached the curve around 12,met with Syed,Zaha,Zahi,Diyana,Leesa,Arimi and Fariszuan. Ate at pizza hut.I didn't eat much since I just had my breakfast at home. After that,met with Qila and Amy. Walked around the curve. I think I went into kitschen for three times today.HAHA. I was unsure about buying. In the end,I bought it. Just a plain black shirt. I wanted to buy a dress but I think it's just a waste of money. I'm short in money now btw. I bought that and a book.

I was in kitschen with Leesa. I didn't realized that it was already 3.30 until Zahi called me. Then,I rushed to the cinema. Met with the others. After that,we went in. We looked for our seats and there were already other people sitting at our seats. Checked our tickets and found out that the tickets were actually for the next day. Wan Amir and I went to the ticket counter,just to make sure. Yeah,it was for tomorrow. Amy asked if we could changed it to today. Fortunately,we could. We took the 5.45 movie. Problem solved. :) While waiting for the movie to start,we played bowling. It was fun!I wasn't the last place. :p Everyone gathered at the bowling alley. Took A LOT of pictures,especially Syed and I.hehe. That was my mission. When we were about to watch the movie,Diyana,Zaha and Zahi said their goodbyes to Syed who will be leaving this coming monday. He's going to RMC. I said goodbye to Leesa who will be leaving too. She's going to BU4. Everyone is moving. Haih. I'll be leaving soon.

Watched the movie. It was HILARIOUS! :DDD I laughed like hell. It was really funny. Something also happened in the cinema. I cried. haha. Yeah,I did. Syed calmed me. It's really difficult,being away from him. I'm really happy for him because he's going to RMC but at the same,I'm really sad. There are two emotions. :/

I''ll miss you very much,I can't deny that. I'll cry like fucking hell,you know that very well,right?hehe. I can't tell you when I''ll stop crying. This is really difficult for me. After saying goodbye to you,I was really down. Surely,they cheered me up and I'm glad they did. When we hugged each other,I wished I didn't have to let you go but I had to. I believe that every relationship must have a time that the couple will be away from each other or they just take a break. By that,they will know if they truly love each other. I guess this is a test,being away from you. Studying in different schools. We can find out if we are really meant for each other. I can't imagine being with someone else. You're a great guy,seriously. You are really different than the others. Unique. :) I really hope I'll be with you till the end. I mean it. I want no one but you. You are the only guy that can make me happy,truly happy. Thank you for being very understanding and supportive. Thank you very much for everything. I really appreciate it. :)

Thank you for giving me Tigger.

Syed,I really love you,very much. Please,remember me while you're there. I'll remember you too.

I love you,always.

I GOT IT!I GOT IT!I GOT IT!

OMG.I got it.I can't believe it.Went to school today,heard that Afifa got it.Sekolah berasrama penuh.It is in negeri sembilan.Diyana didn't get it.It's ok babe,mesti ada hikmah.Trust me.Be strong!;) My future school will be in...Kuala Lumpur.HAHAHA.It's really near.It's called sekolah menengah sains seri puteri.Initially,this is the old school of seri puteri which is now located in cyberjaya.I wanted in cyberjaya but it's ok la. :) Since it's near,I can always go back. :D I'm REALLY excited but of course,I'm a bit sad.I will have to leave my family,boyfriend and friends..This is the hardest part.I really hate this part.But,I have to. :( I'm really sure I'll cry like hell before leaving.

I'm kinda looking forward for this.New school.New environment.New teachers.New friends (I'm not really sure about this.hahaha).New boyfriend?HAHAHA.NEVER.He will be the only one.Things will not change between us despite that we are not gonna be in the same school anymore.We have been in the same school,same class since standard 5. It was only during form 2 that we weren't in the same class.I know it's gonna be difficult.Wait,not just difficult.FUCKING DIFFICULT!This will be the first time,being away from him.Don't find another girl ok?hehe. :) Nobody can touch you while I'm away.I REPEAT,NOBODY. :D I love you very much.Please don't forget about me.

I'm SO gonna miss my women!!You guys are the best.I love you guys very much!

Qila,I know you will miss me.I know you will.HAHA.I'll miss you like hell la woman!I can't bully you. :( I can't poke you when you are about to doze off.hahaha :D Seriously,you are a great friend.Thank you for being my best friend. :) I love you lah.

Amy!I've known her for a long time ago but we were not really close back then.I'm really gonna miss you.Have a great start in a new school!I love you woman!;D

Sino,my twin.It has been quite a long time since I really talked to her.I miss you la kembar.I'm going soon.Don't forget about me.I still love you!:)

Temah and Nenek!:D The best twins ever!Gosh,I love you guys!I love fighting with them.hehe :D Thank you for everything :)

I won't forget all of you,never.

Oh my God.

I haven't been updating for God knows how long.Have been really busy.School,school and school.Wow.I'm exhausted.Form 4 is a different life.A new life.Very interesting and I know it will be fun but it's tiring.I wish I can write more but I'm tired+busy.I won't be updating like last time.

I miss blogging!

A lot of things happened but I'm too lazy to type everything. First of all,I've gained weight. :0 Shit! Sorry Syed,I didn't mean to offend you. :) Secondly,I went out with Syed,Arimi,Wan Amir and Farhan.I was the only girl.Haha.Watched Avatar.A very nice movie.Ye la,the director is the one that did the Titanic movie. Anyway,after watching the movie,I got a phone call from my dad. Asked me what am I doing.HAHA.Told the truth but I didn't tell that I was the only girl. I don't want to get killed. He said that he just came back from the curve.HAHAHAHA.I was really lucky. Fortunately,we were in the cinema when my dad was walking around the curve.LOL. Around 7,went back home with Syed. I was really sick by the time I reached home. My body temperature was quite high. Thought about going to the clinic the next day but my mum was worried so we went that night. Doctor told that my blood pressure was low and I need to exercise. He suggested that I do an operation for my throat because that PARTICULAR thing is the one that makes me suffer. I CAN'T even drink cold water. Anything that has ice in it,I'm forbidden to drink it. :( I was supposed to do the operation when I was strd 5. But,I had to do another operation back then.

Went to Lumut this week. Boring but okay. For new year's eve,celebrated with my cousins at mandarin oriental hotel. The fireworks was woah. REALLY nice. After watching that,My cousins and I went to a party at the hotel. The party was similar to clubbing. The lights,the songs and the environment. There was smoke everywhere. I couldn't see clearly. Danced with my cousins and a guy came to us. He was drunk and I hid behind my cousin.haha. I'm scared,really scared. Went back to the room at 3.30 in the morning. I took a shower straightaway because I smelled bad. I smelled like smoke,alcohol and God knows what else. After that,I felt fresh. Called Syed and talked to him until 5.30. :)

Woke up around 10. I was late. I was supposed to meet Amy at the curve by 11.haha. Mandi cepat2,packed my stuff. I reached the curve almost to 12 and found out that Amy wasn't there yet.hahaha. Had breakfast with my dad at kopitiam. Met amy there. Walked around with her while waiting for the others to come. After a few minutes,met Qila,Sino and A'an. The four of us. :) We entered nichii,kitschen,love it and I really couldn't recall the others.hahaha. A white dress in kitschen caught my eyes.haha. I tried and it fitted me. It's sleeveless but I don't mind since I can wear a cardigan with it. The problem was that the dress is short. Above my knees. Damn. So,I tried a bigger size which was M. HAHA. Too big. Size XS fitted me well but it's short. I really love that dress so I almost bought it but Amy stopped me. She asked me to look around first. So,we walked around. I didn't like the others so I planned to buy that dress at kitschen when I'm about to go back. Ate at cold storage. I wasn't that hungry so I only ate sushi. Talked like,a lot with them. :D After that,went to the ticket counter to collect our movie tickets. Unfortunately,I was late so I couldn't get the booking tickets. I totally forgot that it was a public holiday. I was really pissed off. The only seats that were available was at the most front.HAHA.Babi betul. So,I took it. Bought 11 tickets.haha. Tiba2 ramai plak yg join. There were me,Syed,Amy,Amin,Qila,Arimi,Amir Hamzah,Rasyid,Faiq,Rasyid's friend and A'an. Like always,the girls are always less than the guys.Lol. Watched Alvin and the chipmunks 2. It was hilarious although my neck was in pain watching it.hahahahahaha. After that,ate at subway. Talked and Laughed. Walked around and ended up staying in borders.haha.I found two books that I love but I didn't buy them. Sat with Syed,Arimi and Amir Hamzah. Syed and Arimi played a game.hahaha. Lawak. At 6.45,my dad picked me up. After maghrib,went to ou to buy school stuff. At home,makan ubat and tido. It was fun although it was quite a rush. :)

SCHOOL IS STARTING!!!

I'm gonna be 16. Sweet sixteen. ;)

Peer pressure refers to the influence exerted by a peer group in encouraging a person to change his or her attitudes, values, or behavior in order to conform to group norms. Social groups affected include membership groups, when the individual is "formally" a member (for example,political party, trade union), or a social clique. A person affected by peer pressure may or may not want to belong to these groups. They may also recognize dissociative groups with which they would not wish to associate, and thus they behave adversely concerning that group's behaviors.^{[citation needed]} Peer pressure can cause people to do things they would not normally do, e.g. take drugs, smoke, get a girlfriend, marry, have a job, get children, buy expensive items they don't really need (cars, houses, boats), etc.

Took this from wikipedia.I just realized that most of the teenagers nowadays are influenced by peer pressure.So,they end up not being themselves.I guess I'm one of them too. But,I'm changing now. Still finding myself,getting to know myself better. Trying my best to love myself more. Building up my confidence. Basically,I'm changing for the better.

Okay,enough about that.

So yeah,I got 8A's for my PMR examination. For sure,I'm going to science stream,which I've been wanting and Alhamdullilah,it came true.BUT,I have a BIG/HUGE/MAJOR problem.I'm not sure of my ambition.I'm really concern about my future.My mum keeps saying that,'nana,i can't see your interest.what do you wanna do in future?I can see alissa's interest since she was form 1 but until now,i can't see yours.' EEEEEEEEEE!I hate myself for this. :/ I'm a straight a student but I don't even know what I wanna do in future. You know,it hurts being that kind of person. Not knowing what to do.I always go with the flow but now,I have to know what I wanna do. I can see my friends' interests but I can't see mine. Well,for sure I'm really into music but I always take that as a hobby. Never thought about doing anything about it in my future. My stepfather said he didn't care of what I'm gonna be,as long as that is what I want and what I love.He said not to worry about the money,just do what you want,your hobby. My hobby. UGH!:( When I was in kindergarten,I wanted to be a teacher.I thought it was fun but when I look at it now,I don't think I can deal with the pressure. Besides,I suck in dealing with kids. I can't even teach my little sister. She will end up crying and complaining to my mum that I'm being too harsh on her.Haih.So,goodbye to the thought that I wanna be a teacher. Then,I thought of being a doctor. :D The pay is good. But,I can't even look at people who are involved in an accident. It makes me sick and I'll feel like crying. Plus,I have to study for 5-6 years. Man,that is a LONG period. I don't really mind about the period,but I don't think I can cope with the studies. It's just too much. And like I said before,I'm scared of seeing people in blood and anything that is worse than that. Goodbye again. Next,I wanted to be an accountant. :D My mum supported me. She wanted me to be that too. BUT...SEE!I always have a problem. I learned about account for my PMR examination. I felt like committing suicide. It was fucking difficult. I even cried. Then,I told my mum that I don't want to be one. She was quite sad. Goodbye to accountant! -.- THEN!I realized that I really love reading about life.So,I thought,maybe I should be a psychologist! I was really serious about that. Being a psychologist in Malaysia doesn't do much compared in America. So,I made a decision. Migrate there. Then,another problem came out. Mother will DEFINITELY won't agree with my idea.HAHAHA. She will say this and that. I can just imagine the lecture that she is gonna give me.LOL. So,I have to scratch that. And when I thought about it again,I can't leave Malaysia. I love it as much as I hate it.haha. So,Goodbye again! That's the end of it. I've run out of ideas of what I wanna be in future. I know that I can be anything if I'm excellent in my studies but it won't be fun because it's not something that I love. I wanna work for something that I love,that I enjoy doing it. My stepmother gave me an idea. She suggested me to be a pharmacist. With that,I can open my own pharmacy. Plus,I can work with doctors too. Hmm. Sounds interesting,I must say. I'll keep that in my mind.

THIS is my major problem.I need to know what I wanna be in the future. If that's solved,I'll be the HAPPIEST person in the world. Seriously.

I LOVE YOU!:)

Please be mine forever k?